Story Behind The Song

It hit me a few years ago that there needed to be another kind of Christmas Song for couples that weren't exactly merry.

Song Description

It's a song about putting aside the inevitable for awhile by drinking and having lots of sex through the holidays.

Lyrics

WHAT THE HELL IT'S CHRISTMAS
HE
THE TREE IS LIT AND THE POPCORNS STRUNG
BUT WE GOT NO MISTELTOE
SHE
AIN'T BEEN SNUGGLIN' SINCE HALLOWEEN
AND WE'RE LOW ON "HO, HO. HO."
HE
BUT THIS FIGHT WE'VE GOT WILL NEVER GET DONE
IN A WEEK OR EVEN TWO
BOTH
SO WHY GRIMACE AND GRUMBLE?
WHY SHOULD WE BE BLUE, WHEN:

WHAT THE HELL IT'S CHRISTMAS!
HE
WHY NOT DECK THE HALL?
SHE
WHEN WE HIT THE NEW YEAR
WE CAN HAVE A BRAWL,
BOTH
YEAH!
WHAT THE HELL IT'S CHRISTMAS!
HE
AND BABY I BROUGHT BEER,
BOTH
SO WE CAN TELL OUR PROBLEMS
THAT WE'LL WRASSLE THEM NEXT YEAR!
VERSE 2

SHE
NOW WE COULD MANGLE THE SEASON
AND SPEND IT SAD AND BLUE
HE
BUT I'VE BEEN FEELIN' FRISKY
AND I'M HOPIN' YOU DO TOO.
SHE
THE YULE LOG'S LIT AND WE KNOW HOW
TO FAKE A HAPPY SCENE
BOTH
SO DOWN THAT SHOT AND LET'S BE FRIENDS
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN, AND..

WHAT THE HELL IT'S CHRISTMAS
SHE
HERE'S MY YULETIDE PLAN
SINCE YOU'RE NOT GETTIN'YOUNGER

BETTER GRAB IT WHILE YOU CAN
BOTH
YEAH! WHAT THE HELL IT'S CHRISTMAS!
HE
AND BABY YOU KNOW THE SCORE,
SHE
YOU'RE A SELFISH JACKASS!
HE
BUT YOU KNEW THAT BEFORE
ALL YEAR LONG WE SLOG ALONG
SAD AND MEAN AND GREEDY
HERE'S YOUR CHANCE TO RIGHT THAT WRONG
AND HELP ONE OF THE NEEDY
BOTH
YEAH! WHAT THE HELL IT'S CHRISTMAS!
SLAP THE BLINDERS ON AND SING:
HE
IN THE ICE OF JANUARY
WE CAN CLIMB BACK IN THE RING!
BOTH
BABY, LET'S CUT LOOSE
AND CALL A TRUCE
AND HAVE A HOLIDAY FLING!
WHAT THE HELL IT'S CHRISTMAS!!!!


COPYRIGHT © 2008 BY WILLIAM ZEFFIRO
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

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