Story Behind The Song

Man drives elderly woman to the bank and is an unwitting accomplice to bank robbery.

Song Description

Song Of The Weird based upon a News Of The Weird article

Lyrics

msnbc.com staff and news service reports

updated 12/23/2010 7:59:54 PM ET


JANESVILLE, Minn.-- A 26-year-
old man thought he was doing a
good deed when he gave a 70-y
ear-old woman a ride to a
Minnesota bank.

But police say the woman robbed
the bank, and the man was her
unsuspecting getaway driver.

The man told The Free Press of
Mankato that he thought the
woman, who rents an apartment
from his mother, was going to the
bank to withdraw cash so she
could pay back rent. His mother
had recently begun eviction
proceedings over unpaid rent, the
Free Press reported.

Instead, employees of the Elysian
State Bank reported Wednesday
that an "elderly woman" told the
teller she had a gun, demanded
money and left with $3,700,
according to The Star Tribune.

The bank's vice president followed
the black Jaguar, calling in a

description, location and license
plate number as he went.

Police stopped the car and, with
guns drawn, ordered both
occupants to the ground.

The woman repeatedly told police,
"Luke had nothing to with it," The
Star Tribune reported.

The woman had a hammer but no
gun, according to The Star Tribune
. She's in jail, pending charges.

Found in the car along with the
cash and the hammer, The Star
Tribune reported: a pair of white
rubber gloves and a 2011 Elysian
Bank calendar.
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Ignorance of law is no defense; ignorance of crime is one
Man had no clue that 70-year-old woman who asked for ride to bank robbed it, police say

The Associated Press contributed to this report.
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THE HEIST
B.B.1217/10

It's so good of you to help me. You're such a nice young man
said the elderly woman as he pulled up to the bank
You wait right here and I'll go get enough to pay my rent
so your mama can't evict me 'cause I'll be all caught up then.
and she thanked him once again for giving her a ride
He waited in his Jaguar as she hobbled on inside

You see, Lukes' mama was her landlord and she'd made it pretty clear
that if the woman didn't pay up she would soon be out of there
when he asked how could she be so mean her eyes lit up like fire
where do you think the money comes from son, to pay for your Jaguar?
Still, he thought that it was cruel to treat the elderly that way
and when the woman said that she could pay it really made Lukes' day

Well it was cold in Minnesota on that brisk December day
but just a day like any other day inside the Janesville bank
Her purse was hanging heavy in the crook of her elbow, all
weighted down by the claw hammer that she'd stuck in there for show
getting heavier by the minute as she waited there in line
for the next available teller so she could go commit her crime

The new Elysian State Bank calendars were sitting out for free
still,when she stuck one in her purse it made her feel just like a thief
and her hands were slick with sweat inside the rubber gloves she wore
they all thought she was just senile, didn't know what they were for
when she walked into the bank that day with a robbery in mind
she planned on leaving there with money, and not leaving prints behind

She told the teller she was armed and showed the bulge there in her purse
and then demanded all the money starting with the big bills first
37hundred dollars is what she took that day
and walked as pretty as you please out to the Jag and got away
but the banks vice president was there to follow close behind
giving descriptions and directions to the cops he had on the line

Next thing you know they're both all laid out and face down on the ground
'Luke had nothing to do with it' she's swearing up and down
he's an unwitting accomplice and he didn't known a thing
he felt about as smart as the hammer that she'd been carrying
she'd probably end her life inside some cold gray prison walls
and as for her apartment well, Lukes' mom is taking calls....