Lyrics

?UGLY?
William Carl Brown (502) 964-0410
1975Ó

I just cannot marry you Joe
You got a big fat ugly nose
Your eyes are crossed, you got buck teeth
You take a size fourteen on your feet
Your knees squeak when you walk
You?re so tongue tied you can hardly talk
See, you?re losing all your hair
Doncha think we?d make a terrible pair
You got a hump in the small of your back
Sometimes, I think your head?s been cracked
Why, you?re as clumsy as an ape
Besides, you?re all bent out of shape
Why, marrying you would be a sin
I could never forgive myself again
You say, I?m just a fussy old hen
Get somebody else to marry you then
Now you know I hate overweight
Pound for pound you weigh Three-O-Eight
You?re short and ugly and fat as a pig
You?re soon gonna have to wear a wig
Your lip is always hanging down
Why don?t you try being a circus clown
And your ears are so full of wax
For that you oughta pay income tax
Your neck is so long you should have been a giraffe
You sound like a baboon when you laugh
Your bad breath matches your socks
Your face is a treasure that should be hocked
So, I cannot marry you Joe, don?t you get the hint
You?re as ugly as a old mud fence
But what?s that?? What did you say???
Your Uncle left you a million dollars?????
Joe, honey, lets get married today.