Story Behind The Song

My debut song, Cold, is about vulnerability. It's something I've never really been able to do. I come from a long line of very strong and independent women who taught me to be the same. My mom worked and my dad raised me. But my Dad raised me more as a CEO than he did a parent. So the first 18 years of my life revolved around work ethic, independence, efficiency, perfection etc--rather than emotions and creativity. When I left home, I learned a lot about being open. Music is a good outlet for that, and I've gotten better at sharing my emotions, but it took awhile to learn how to be vulnerable. One of the hardest lessons was that by not being vulnerable, you isolate yourself. I pretty much tend to do that with most people I meet. So when I had a real connection with someone at school, I pushed them away. Instead of saying, "I have feelings for you," I did everything in my power to convince myself that I didn't. So, that's where I'm coming from in this song.

Song Description

Cold is about that exterior that I've built up to shield myself from rejection, heartbreak, shame, and embarrassment because I was raised to fear these things rather than to understand them. And also how, in the long run, closing yourself off does more harm than good.

Lyrics

It was a rainy day
Your hair was wet
The sky was gray
And I saw you
From across the room

About a year ago
I thought we were
In love
But I couldn't say it
And neither could you

It's easier to shut
My feelings down
Before they're out
Cause the last time
Cost too much pain

Is it the weather or is my heart colder than ice just tell me
Cause I can't be hurt if there was never a flame left burning
No wound to bleed, no heart to break, no love to lose, no soul to take
Alone I go, closed off I stay until the sun comes out

And so, like flowers turn to gray
Our love faded away
It cleared up with the rain

I know, it'll never be the same
Two hearts, one broke
And one to blame

I let you go before
We could fall apart
You never
Forgave me
It's been so long

I miss the way we used to be
Such a good friend you were to me
Is it over?
Is it time to move on?

Is it the weather or is my heart colder ice, just tell me?
Cause I can't be hurt if there was never a flame left burning
No wound to bleed, no heart to break, no love to lose, no soul to take
Alone I go, closed off I stay until the sun comes out

And so, like flowers turn to gray
Our love faded away
It cleared up with the rain

I know, it'll never be the same
Two hearts, one broke
And one to blame

(It always ends this way
Two hearts one broke
And one to blame)

I've always looked out for myself
protected my mental health
But I'm scared I'll always be alone
If I'm afraid to be vulnerable

Playlist Creator	Playlist Name	Date Added
Lawrence K. Bodien	Pop Easy Listening	5/30/2021