Song Description

Stream of consciousness about life in Hollywood

Lyrics

"The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs.  There's also a negative side."
No one exactly said that, but if they did, they wouldn't have lied.
Whoever commits suicide is totally justified.

Now i'm not sayin' playin live ain't a lot of fun.
'Cept drivin' home a hundred miles on highway 101
'cause the bartender loved you so he bought you lots of drinks
and you hope a cop don't stop you and tell you what he thinks

Now it's not exactly pay-to-play, It's just called ticket pre-sales
You bought a hundred from the club, you hope you'll get some re-sales
You been spare-changin' since noon but there's not enough for dinner yet.
And the fans love your music that they all burned off the internet.

Would you humor me a little bit just a little while
Go ahead and snicker, go ahead and smile
'Cause my freestyle's gonna be mighty vile
I'm just another cat who thinks he can cause he went and saw 8 mile

I've ripped off Chuck Berry, and Robert Johnson's blues
I ripped off B.B. king and Jimmy Hendrix too
I even rip off Jesus when I say what would Jesus do
And if I like your shit I'll probably rip off you too.

Cause you see I'm just a country boy who came to Hollywood
To learn the music business and do the things I should
So I can pay the Whiskey to play down on the strip
And pray that they don't tell me that I'm totally unhip

Woops- just kiddin- I bet you couldn't guess
You see the music business is one big fuckin' mess
The A&R's are idiots who usually oppress
Each new hopefull sucker that they drive into distress

So a month or two go by and you burn off your illusions
and you're wonderin' how you're gonna pay the rent
'cause your childhood in hollywood is suffering intrusions
and you haven't made a single lousy cent

So you're swearin' that tomorrow you'll be gettin' up early
And you won't quit 'till you find yourself a gig
Tellin' everyone you meet that you had a couple lessons
From the guy who used to be in Mr. Big

And nobody's impressed but they smile and nod yes
And tell you that they like your new tattoo
And they play along well cause they never will confess
They were hopin' they could get a gig from you

Got your demo in your pocket everywhere you go
Cause you never know just who you're gonna meet
I met a ho named Joe looked like Marylin Monroe
Said that she was livin' on the street

I took her to the Skybar but they wouldn't let us in
So we had to settle for the Rainbow room
She ordered somethin' triple, I ordered up two aspirin
When the jukebox started playing Warrant tunes.

She said her trade was skin and she starred with Rin-Tin-Tin
Then she popped a vicodin and said where do we begin
So I ordered Gordon's gin and chased it with a Heinekin
and listened to her story of the things that might have been

She said I mi'swell tell you I'm a millionairess
Perhaps you know my sister- her name is Paris
She wants to be like me so she makes movies too
We're looking for a co-star-perhaps it could be you

I told her not right now-not in my condition
Even though I desperately need money for tuition
She said shut up let's go you're having your audition
This time tomorrow night you'll be on Inside Edition

Funny how things work out- fate's little twists and turns
one day you're eatin' Ramen, the next day life upturns
But I'll tell you all a secret- I always knew it would
I love the music business-hooray for Hollywood