Lyrics

Summary

Verse 1
Can you feel the pain/I wear it on sleeve/I never show emotions/so niggaz never believe/me/who him/the one who never smiles/can't tell if he's happy or sad/yeah me/same nigga who got issues with dad/let's run it back/back before the land of the Turks/before I had my hands in some dirt/I'm breathin' air for the first time/and man this stuff hurts/is he livin' or dyin' doc/don't soften the blow/possible brain damage/no cranium bone/that's the least of my probs/could it get any worse/fade to motherland/Ghana/Africa/parents origin, birth/I'm ten months/and my belly is swoll/it's hot as a mother/plus[but] my body is cold/cirrhosis of liver/from this malaria shit/over before it's started/my life is fadin' me quick/what's your summary of life/this is just my beginnin'/I have no footprints in sand/no trust of God is within me

Chorus
Why did God make me/Why does God hate me/Why not just take me/my spirits gone, break me

Why did God make me/Why not just take me/Why does God hate me/my spirits gone, break me

Verse 2
Let's move along/to grade number six/cruelest people on earth/so called heart-warming kids/I remember the racists/ when I start thinking back/the kids weren't white/these motherfuckers were black/Tar baby/damn nigga/you're as dark as night/I can't see you nigga/open your eyes/11 years old/how can I deal this shit/plus I'm a boy/Ican't be showing feelings and shit/I'll hold it in/let it eat me alive/you can see the anger and hate/burning deep in my eyes/This is my tool/you can't get the best of me now/I'm about to explode/they keep testing me how/do I control it/and keep from going bezerk/Does God even exist/does He know that I hurt/now I'm sixteen/I feel all alone in this world/Once more my heart's broken/I'm losing trust in these girls/Change my persona/got a new walk and some clothes/they're not women no more/I'm seeing bitches and hoes/hating my self/ashamed of my color and roots/I'd seen the gun in the closet/just want to take it and shoot/myself in the head/have my parents walk in on me dead/But I'm a coward I didn't pursue it/in the tub with knives to my wrist/but I just couldn't do it

Chorus

Verse 3
Now as a man/as I look back on my life/I blamed Him for my troubles/even hated Him twice/hated God so much/I wanted to kill Him myself/yo' I didn't believe in heaven/I'll take my chances with hell/time to man up/and look my self in the mirror/back in `98/it couldn't be clearer/I was homeless/roamin' the city of Duke/had no money for clothes/beggin' people for food/had a chest full of pride/I can't stoop to that level/I can't let him win/I can't give in to the devil/flash seven years/I'm in the city of dreams/took me being a man/to know what sacrifice means/for sixteen years/I've been watching the game/seen a lot of cats/sell their soul/for fortune and fame/but God had a plan/I cheated death twice/what's money, power, and respect/with no claims to your life/took back control/and made peace with myself/swallowed my pride/started askin' for help/mended fences with pops/put my focus in music/without God/yo' ain't no way I could do this/that's my life summary/but the stories ongoing/my redemption song/all here for the showing