Story Behind The Song

A woman answers a personal ad, much to her regret

Song Description

Kinky gone too far

Lyrics

DON'T EAT ME
Music and Lyrics by Daniel Curzon
VERSE #1:
I CONFESS I WAS LONELY,
OVERWEIGHT AND SORT OF HOMELY.
EVEN THOUGH YOUR GRAMMAR WAS BAD,
. . . I ADMIT I ANSWERED YOUR AD
VERSE #2:
OH, I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER
WHEN THERE WAS SWEAT ON YOUR SWEATER.
BUT YOU WERE SO CUDDLY AND CUTE
. . . IN YOUR FABULOUS BIRTHDAY SUIT!
CHORUS:
NOW I'VE BOUGHT ME A GUN
AND I'M WAITIN' FOR YOU, HON.
DON'T BEAT ME.
DON'T EAT ME.
DON'T DARE SAY YOU COMPLETE ME!
IF YOU COME THROUGH THAT DOOR,
I SWEAR, I SWEAR, I SWEAR I WILL LOVE YOU NO MORE!
VERSE #3:
SO IT WAS KINKY, OKAY!? [7]
THEN IT WAS NOT. JUST STINKY ALL THE DAY.
AND NEXT CAME THE STALKING FROM YOU.
. . . IT WAS ALL TOO BAD TO BE TRUE. [8]
REPEAT CHORUS
NOW I'VE BOUGHT ME A GUN
AND I'M WAITING FOR YOU, HON.
DON'T BEAT ME.
DON'T EAT ME.
DON'T DARE SAY YOU COMPLETE ME!
IF YOU COME THROUGHN THAT DOOR,
I SWEAR, I SWEAR, I SWEAR I WILL LOVE YOU NO MORE!

VERSE #4:
I'VE CALLED THE SHERIFF ON YOU
THEY'LL BE HERE IN A MINUTE OR TWO.
AND I'LL TELL THEM AIM FOR YOUR HEAD.
JUST HOPE THEY DON'T SHOOT ME INSTEAD.

VERSE #5:
LOVE IS A DANGEROUS GAME.
IT CAN LEAVE YOU BROKEN AND LAME.
YET I KNOW THAT THIS MUCH IS TRUE.
THAT YOU HAVE TO KNOW WHEN IT'S THROUGH.

REPEAT CHORUS.
ENDING: IF YOU COME THROUGH THAT DOOR,
I WILL LOVE YOU NO MORE.
(spoken) I SWEAR!