Lyrics

THE RAPTURE WILL NOT BE TELEVISED

We interrupt your regularly scheduled thought patterns to bring you this revelation:

This is not a test/an emergency will be declared in this area.

No man knoweth the day nor the hour of our Lord?s return.

Do not attempt to adjust your radio, put down your remote control
Because the rapture will not be televised

You will not be able to ignore it, brother
You will not be able to log on, check your e-mail and log off.
You will not be able to invite your friends and slip out for popcorn during commercials.
Because the rapture will not be televised.
There will be no business as usual. You will not be able to lay low, sleep in or chill out.
You will not be able to watch for a while and then drop to your knees for repentance
Because the rapture will not be televised
There will be no instant replay of graves opening, cars crashing or holy people vanishing.

The rapture will not be broadcast around the world in 30 minutes on headline news.

Bill Clinton will not be able to look directly into a television camera and tell you the truth as he sees it

Republicans will not blame democrats, but the angels will blame the Talaban.

The righteous will fly the friendly skies, but this flight will not be highjacked.

There will be wars, rumors of wars and peace will be America?s most wanted

Ms. Cleo will not be able to predict the rapture for 99 cents a minute.
The rapture will not be brought to you on DVD in stereo surround without commercial interruptions.

Closed captioning will not be available and Elvis will not be spotted.

Larry King will not conduct a live pre-rapture interview.
Because the rapture will not be televised.

Do not place your hands on your televison screen for deliverance

You will not be able to touch and agree

You will not be able to name it and claim it and your love gift will no longer be relevant.
Jonnie Cochran will not manipulate the heavenly court and you will not be able to plead insanity for your sins.

The rapture will be an unsolved mystery. The Vatican will have no dirty little secrets and the angels will know exactly where to find Osama Bin Ladden.

The rapture will not be brought to you by Xerox.
The rapture will not be back after a word from our sponsor

The rapture will not be a Kodak moment

The rapture will not double your pleasure

The rapture will not be kid tested or mother approved.

The rapture will not kill germs that cause bad breath.
You will not make this a Blockbuster night.
The rapture will not be a test and for the next 60 seconds you will not be told where to tune in for redemption

The rapture will not be caught on tape, so you will not be able to pause and rewind.

The rapture will not be for mature audiences only.

Cops will not come to your rescue and Greenacres will not be the place to be.

The rapture will not be brought to you by Parker Brothers, Comedy Central or Burger King
Because it ain?t no game, it won?t be funny, and you will not have it your way.

There will be no hanging chads.

The rapture will not be interrupted by news just in from Kandahar, Afghanistan or New York City.

There will be no world trade for the sinner.
The President cannot declare war on the rapture.

The Vice President will not be secure in an undisclosed location.

The rapture will not make you a millionaire, because Regis will have no questions

Mike Tyson will not be taking a bite out of the rapture on Pay Per View.

The rapture will not be coming to a theater near you.

You will not need tickets.
This will be the final answer.
No sequel and no reruns.

There will be no sneak previews and no matrix.
The real stars will wear white and men in black will be the worst dressed.

Survivors will not win 1 Million dollars, but they will suffer tribulation

You must not wait for the movie.

You must read the book.

The rapture may not happen this Saturday night but the rapture will ... be live.