Story Behind The Song

One day, borne from the detailed security searches and resultant passenger complaints that had started to pop up in the news from airports all around the world, ideas of lyrics began to fill songwriter Mitchell Stone's head like an overstuffed carry-on. Within 30 minutes, Mitch had gotten all the words of "Airplane Slow Lane" down on paper. He then contacted his friends, composers Hal Lee Singer and Georganna Barry-Singer and the rest, as they say, is music history. The Singers got the music down, and "Airplane Slow Lane" was complete. The producer and the singer (or should we say the "Singer") on the song is Hal Lee Singer himself. The multitalented Hal also plays all the instruments except the drums. So listen to this song, and the next time you fly, you'll have something to sing that'll cure those airport-security blues.

Song Description

Airport security screenings got you down? Too much scrutiny just to fly...when you'd never even hurt a fly?? Ashamed of your feet??? Is that what's bugging you, friend???? Then cure those airport-security blues, and sing with this flyer who's venting his frustration over airport-security methods.

Lyrics

Well I went down to the airport late last night
I had to make it on time for a red-eye flight
The guy at the gate said man you're late
Do an x-ray or a pat-down and we'll get you thru the gate

He searched me up one side and down the other
I said I ain't no kid and you're not my mother
So you better be careful where your hands trespass
Don't touch my junk and don't touch my...

Well, I'm in the airplane slow lane to be patted down
Or scanned like a document to get off the ground
Yeah the airplane slow lane to be patted down
Gotta leave a day early just to get outta town

Well I coulda took the train or drove my truck outta there
But I thought it would be faster to go in the air
I'm not one to complain or say it ain't right
But airport security is makin' me uptight

Ya gotta take off your belt, take off your shoes
And if your watch goes "tick" you'll be singin' the blues
Raise your arms and say cheese for your pose
Or get felt up like a melon underneath your clothes

I'm in the airplane slow lane to be patted down
Or scanned like a document to get off the ground
The airplane slow lane to be patted down
Gotta leave a day early just to get outta town

I said I ain't no monk, but don't touch my junk
He said mind your manners or you'll go to the scanners
'cause I'm the boss here, punk

I'm in the airplane slow lane to be patted down
Or scanned like a document to get off the ground
Yeah the airplane slow lane to be patted down
Gotta leave a day early just to get outta town