Story Behind The Song

A marriage ruined by obsession

Lyrics

I Lost My Wife To E Bay


Verse


I had a loving wife until last summer
We would never spend any time apart
But the dream was shattered, oh what a bummer
When an auction site stole my dearest's heart

It started off quite innocently
She bought a household item on the site
But soon she had obsessive compulsive disorder
She was bidding in the middle of the night

Chorus

My wife became an E Bay afficionado
The night air often pierced by shouts of "Wow"
The only time she was ever really happy
Was when she clicked on the button "Buy It Now"

Verse

After that it deteriorated quickly
She soon stopped coming to bed at all
She spent all night sitting at the laptop
And all day cataloguing her haul

She spent a king's ransom on total rubbish
On stuff she'd never ever use in her life
Like plastic shoes and homemade chocolate teapots
And a fountain pen that doubled as a knife

Chorus

My wife became an E Bay afficionado
The night air often pierced by shouts of "Wow"
The only time she was ever really happy
Was when she clicked on the button "Buy It Now"


Verse


She bought piles of utterly useless items
Like clockwork dogs and tartan kitchen roll
The house was full of tins of pink emulsion
Eventually the nonsense took its toll

Divorce soon became the only option
My sanity was coming under threat
I kept the house, the car and the Weimeraner
She kept the 3D photos of Tibet


Chorus

My wife became an E Bay afficionado
The night air often pierced by shouts of "Wow"
The only time she was ever really happy
Was when she clicked on the button "Buy It Now"


© Robin Grimmond 2012