Lyrics

My name is Steve and I?m here to say,
That I?m an engineer that?s what I do all day.

My name is Nick, I?d like to add a line,
I?m the worst engineer you?ll ever find.

Not worst?

Hough!

Baddest!

Oh, I?m the Baddest engineer you?ll ever find.

They call me Joe, the software man,
I massage code like no one can.

And I?m Rick my friends, I program too,
At a hundred bucks a line I?ll write one for you.

We all calculate and do design,
Test that box and deliver it on time.

Say ?Oh?!
Oh!

Say ?Plot that graph?!
Plot that graph!

Out of bed
And out of food,
Out the door,
I?m one bad dude.

We get to work and into our stalls,
Make some coffee, make a few calls.

Pick up my assignment from the pile,
Then place it in the circular file.

Ah donuts today, what?s the deal?
It?s a customer review and our free meal.

First management decisions must be made,
That can only be done by the highest paid.

I?m technical leader, our path is set,
You get the plain, I?ll eat the chocolate.

We say ?Mmm Mmm good?
They say ?Mmm Mmm good.?

We say ?Ooh ooh ooh ooh?
Yeah yeah yeah.

I sit right down and go through my mail,
Try to make my way down the paper trail.
Then onto a meeting in the conference room,
Catch some winks and wake up at noon.

We all calculate and do design,
Test that box and deliver it on time.

Back from lunch, I need a rest.
But we?re just in time for acceptance test.

Tweek the knob, turn the dial.
Hit return and wait for a while?

Its usually much faster than this?

Its not my fault, I knew it wouldn?t work.
Its not my fault, must have been a quirk.
Don?t look at me, I think it went berserk.

Kick it!
What?
Kick it!

Now do it again at hot and cold.
Shake your thing and paint it gold.

I present to you, for all to see,
The XYZ serial number 3
It meets its specs, its under cost.
Now take this thing and then get lost!

I?d like to improvise and go with the flow,
But you know this song is under change control.

We all calculate and do design,
Break that box and blame it on the other guy!

Its not my fault!
Its not my fault!
You did it you bit-head!
Who you calling ?Bit-head??

It?s a hardware bug.
It?s a software bug.
It?s two, two, two bugs in one!

We all calculate and do design,
Test that box and deliver it on time.