Story Behind The Song
Mark Twain wrote some inspired cussing dialogue in LIfe on the Mississippi which doesn't use a single traditional swear word (presumably to avoid the Victorian censor's wrath). It occurred to me that country music censors are equally challenging, so this
Song Description
Country novelty song about finding a way to cuss out an unfaithful girlfriend even though you've vowed never to swear. Performed live by acoustic string band Calaveras.
| Song Length |
2:45 |
Genre |
Country - Contemporary, Unique - Unclassified |
| Tempo |
Fast (151 - 170) |
Lead Vocal |
Male Vocal |
| Mood |
Incensed, Irate |
Subject |
Disgust, Heartbreak |
| Similar Artists |
Chet Atkins, Hank Williams |
Language |
English |
| Era |
2000 and later |
| |
Lyrics
@#$%(&!! Song
My Daddy was a minister--honest, kind and able
He taught me to pray and to say the grace at our dinner table
He taught us not to swear or cuss, and I swore I would obey
But when you cleaned out our bank account, stole my truck and slept with my former best friend
This is all that I could say
You?re a dirty stinkin? scum-covered bucket of sushi from a swamp on the far side of Mars
You?re mama is a skunk kissin? sister of a seat-sniffin? seller of cheap used cars
You?re face looks like a bottom and your bottom looks like a half-inflated Goodyear blimp
You?re a turnip lickin? pickle suckin? gopher whackin? lyin? cheatin? daughter of a brain-dead chimp
I always thought you loved me til you put poison in my stew
I got a sneakin? suspicion something wasn?t quite right when my legs went numb and my face turned blue
But the good book says ?Thou shalt not swear? at least I think it does
So I only had one thing to say and this is what it was
You?re a moldy old piece of anchovy pizza that?s been run over several times
You?re a sleeze reading, Oprah watchin? Elvis sightin? toad you give new meaning to the concept of slime
Your skin has pimples and your pimples have warts and your warts have bunions too
You?re a dandruff-ridden gerbil-chewin? refuge from the snake pit at the local zoo
When it comes to revealing the thoughts that I?m feeling these words don?t work too well
But it?s hard to tell you just how I feel when I can?t say go to?well
You?re a dirty stinkin? scum-covered bucket of sushi from a swamp on the far side of Mars (sing along now)
You?re mama is a skunk kissin? sister of a seat-sniffin? seller of cheap used cars
You?re face looks like a bottom and your bottom looks like a half-inflated Goodyear blimp
You?re a turnip-lickin? pickle-suckin? gopher-whackin? lyin? cheatin daughter of a brain-dead chimp
© Greg Beattie 2004