Story Behind The Song

I wrote this song when feeling sad and wanting to change, as if I were talking to a close friend. The lyrics are drawn from personal experience.

Song Description

The story begins with the singer waking up with the empty feeling of an empty house the day after a party, and feeling the fun from the night before was cheap. She sings regretfully of wasting money on alcohol, who she calls the 'friend' that trips you up again and again.' The second verse becomse reflective on the past and the abuse that caused her to become numb. In the second chorus she insists that she is not as cold as she once once, and admits in the third verse her struggles with faith all along. It ends in a message of hope that God is listening. The song has a reflective, sad, but hopeful feeling to it. It's pretty, upbeat, and seems to capture a moment of clarity amidst the fog.

Lyrics

Had a party, then it ended.
In the morning I felt so empty.
Had a dollar, drank it down.
Had a bottle, we spent it wrong, but oh...
At the bottom I found a friend;
the kind who likes to trip you up again and again.
Had a lover so long ago who had bad habits,
they took control
When my brother went far away {off to war}
my father and mother wept.
I was numb to pain.
But, oh, that coldness, that was yesterday.
And oh you'll notice how they roll today.
[The tears] they rain, they rain.
Had some trouble with trusting God.
I know some folks say he's all we've got.
I've been a whore with my fears and dreams.
I'll share my soul with whoever seems to care.
I haven't pulled the gates up anywhere,
but heaven keeps the gates open upstairs,
like he cares. He cares.