Story Behind The Song

This song should resonate with anyone who watches TV. It seems like most of the advertisements are related to pharmaceuticals. Of course, they all have their unpleasant side effects, which inspired me to write this song.

Song Description

Don't you get tired of all the advertising about medications when you sit down and try to enjoy your favorite shows? Me too. This song expresses my thoughts about those ads.

Lyrics

Side Effects

Verse 1

I sat down after dinner and I turned on the TV.
They were advertising medicine, so I flipped to Channel 3.
Yet another promise there to cure all of your ills,
Everywhere I went to, they were pushing someone's pills.

All the ads were proffering the wonder of the drugs.
"It's a modern miracle", so went all their plugs.
It all sounded oh, so good, until what came up next,
A neverending list of all the nasty side effects.

Chorus

Constipation, diarrhea, nausea, and hives,
Dizziness and rapid heartbeat, I'm surprised I'm still alive.
(Ch. 2 - Muscle weakness, double vision, I'm surprised I'm still alive.)
(Ch. 3 - Loss of memory, it can even kill ya, I'm amazed I'm still alive.)
As the litany goes on and on, I just can't be sure
What is really worse for me, the illness or the cure.

Verse 2

I woke up in the morning with an aching in my head,
And I could hardly drag my sorry body out of bed.
I popped a couple capsules to help me face the dawn,
Now my stomach's turning flip-flops, but at least the headache's gone.

An ad came on the TV right there in the dinner hour
About a pill designed to boost your reproductive power.
They say it guarantees that you will have a real good time.
The only problem left to solve is "your bathtub or mine?"

Repeat Chorus

Verse 3

The drug producers want to get you chained to them for life.
They love to take advantage of your pain and of your strife.
The price is steep, but take a trip to your local pharmacy.
If you can't afford the first month, then they'll give it to you free.

Male pattern baldness is a thing that we all dread.
It could make your precious hair start falling off your head.
Their magic hair restorer grows it back, just rub it in,
But if you should stop using it, it'll all fall out again.

Instrumental Break

Verse 4

It seems that all these companies charge by the gram or ounce
For their concoctions, all with names that I cannot pronounce.
The prices are outrageous, they're a bunch of thieving cads,
They might be more affordable if they cut out all the ads.

But if the drugs they're selling you are causing you chagrin,
There's a ton of TV lawyers who would love to jump right in.
If their medications should leave you with a cough,
Just call their toll-free number and they'll sue their fannies off.

Repeat Chorus

Tag

For the very life of me, I can't see the allure.
I'd rather take my chances with the illness than the cure.


Copyright © August, 2017 Thomas E. McCue All Rights Reserved